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+--- Thread: funnies (/thread-funnies)
funnies - alibaba - 12-28-2003
Customer Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers.
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Customer Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.
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Customer Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter So what! do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
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Customer Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
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Customer Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter Funny? But why aren't you laughing?
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Son Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father No. Why do you ask that?
Son Well, where did you get mummy then?
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Peter What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and
one is blue with red spots!
Kirk Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
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Wife Do you want dinner?
Husband Sure, what are my choices?
Wife Yes and no.
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First Guy (proudly) "My wife's an angel!! "
Second Guy "You're fortunate, mine's still alive."
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A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in
the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order,
order." The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you,your honour, I'll have a
scotch and soda."
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Customer If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Penang in two days
time?
Post Master Well it might do.
Customer I bet you, it won't.
Post Master Why not?
Customer It's addressed to Johor.
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An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
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1st thief Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
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Man How old is your father?
Boy As old as me.
Man How can that be?
Boy He became a father only when I was born.
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Teacher Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher How?
Student Ladies first.
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Man Where are you from?
Woman U.S.A.
Man Are you here on vacation?
Woman No! I'm here for lunch.
Man What!!! All the way from the United States of America!!!
Woman No! Upper Serangoon Avenue.
Man !!@#$%^*!*#
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A lady went to a restaurant and ordered a bowl of soup.
Lady Waiter, what is this soup called?
Waiter It is called special chicken soup.
Lady But I see no chicken in it!
Waiter That's why it's so special!
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Question Why did you throw the butter out of the window ?
Answer I wanted to see a butterfly.
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S H A H B A Z A L I