interesting....

[ali4u3]

Hi all,
The person who invented this sentence had to be a vocabulary FREAK!!!!
"I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications' incomprehensibleness."
What is unique about it...???
This is a sentence where nth word is n letters long. e.g. 3rd word is 3 letters long, 8th word is 8 letters long and so on.

if u also have something like this interesting hten plz post it here

Never seek advice from a Chartered Accountant. They are trained to find problems not solutions.

[Pracs]

SAYINGS YOU MAY HAVE WANTED ON YOUR SHIRT


1) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

2) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! .

4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. .

5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. .

6) Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out alive. .

7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. .

8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. .

9) Earth.... is the insane asylum for the universe. .

10) I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing. .

12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

13) I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.

14) I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather ... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

15) God must love stupid people; He made so many of them.

16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

17) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.

18) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

19) Consciousness That annoying time between naps.

20) Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

21) Beer - The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!

22) "That's It! I'm Calling Nana!" (seen on an 8-year old)

23) "Wrinkled.... Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"

24) "Procrastinate..... Now"

25) "Rehab..... Is for Quitters"

26) "My Dog.... Can Lick Anyone"

27) "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?"

28) "Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (On a baby-size shirt)

29) "Finally 21, and Legally Able to do Everything I've been doing since I was 15"

30) "Arkansas One Million People and 15 last names"

31) "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software."

32) "I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN"

33) "A hangover is the wrath of grapes"

34) "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance"

35) "STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!"

36) "DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music"

37) "They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken"

38) "He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead"

39) "Time is fun when you're having flies"...Kermit the Frog

40) "POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN .... Cops have nothing to go on."

41) "FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once."

42) "HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH"

43) "HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig."

44) "WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years."

45) "The trouble with life is there's no background music."

46) "The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson."

47) "MOP AND GLOW - The Floor Wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team."

48) "NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room spinning-medicine."

59) "My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't!"

[Pracs]

Definations

Some meaningful definitions

Father A banker provided by nature.

Boss Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Smile A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Rumour News that travels at the speed of sound.

Dictionary The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
College A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Office A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.
Yawn The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc. A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Classic A book which people praise, but do not read.
Marriage It is an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree and woman gains her master's.

Worry Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
Experience The name men give to their mistakes.

Tears The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.

Atom Bomb An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken off when dead.

Diplomat A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Optimist A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Pessimist A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in the word OPPORTUNITY

Miser A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Criminal A guy no different from the rest of us .... except that he got caught.

Politician One who shakes your hand before elections and shakes your confidence after.

Doctor A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills .

[Azeem Shah Khan]

What is the difference between men and women?

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

5. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman- before and after marriage.

6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.


azeem

[Azeem Shah Khan]

~Algorithm to Calculate Your Age~

This is pretty neat
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST
It takes less than a minute.......

Work this out as you read.

Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! U won't
cheat
urself, will u?

This is not one of those waste-of-time things; it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to
have
dinner out (try for more than once but less than 10).

2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold).

3. Add 5 (for Sunday).

4. Multiply it by 50 - I'll wait while you get the
calculator................

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1753.... If you
haven't, add 1752..........

6. Now subtract the four-digit year that you were born.

You should have a three-digit number....

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times
you
want to have eat out each week.)

The next two numbers are...
)

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it IS!!!!!)

[Apocalypse]

debug manager <b>error on line 5</b>

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Tahoma, Arial" id=quote>quote<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>

If you have already had your birthday this year add 1753.... If you
haven't, add 1752..........
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Tahoma, Arial" size=2 id=quote>

If you have already birthday this year 1754 & you haven't 1753 for 2004
If you have already birthday this year 1755 & you haven't 1754 for 2005

and so on

[Azeem Shah Khan]

true.........

women will be happy when their age will come one year younger than it actually is.

azeem

[Apocalypse]

Formula for Success

A small truth to make our Life's 100% successful..........
If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is equal to 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26


Then H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

L+O+V+E=12+15+22+5=54%

L+U+C+K = 12+21+3+11 = 47%

(None of them makes 100%)


...............................

Then what makes 100%

Is it Money? ..... No!!!!!

Leadership? ...... NO!!!!

Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps

change our "ATTITUDE".

It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes

OUR Life 100% Successful..

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

Don't you think so?!?!?!

[smraza]

NOOOOOOOOO, I DONT THINK SO,

SUCCESS = CHEATING OTHERS = 3+8+5+1+20+9+14+7 +15+20+8+5+18+19 = 152%

SMR

[imateeq]

Salam to all members,

These are some of quotes i like , hope that u people would enjoy it 2



Aristotle Quotes

"He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god." (Aristotle)

"If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle)


"There was never a genius without a tincture of madness." (Aristotle)

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle)

"Well begun is half done." (Aristotle)

Aesop Quotes

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." (Aesop)

"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office." (Aesop)

Ambition Quotes

"... take any form, drive me mad only do not leave me in this abyss where I cannot find you." (Emily Brontë)

"A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan)

"Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp. Or what's a heaven for?" (Robert Browning)

"All writers are vain, selfish and lazy, and at the very bottom of their motives lies a mystery. Writing a book is a long, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand." (George Orwell, "Why I Write")

"Cromwell, I charge thee, fling away ambition. By that sin fell the angels." (William Shakespeare, Henry VIII, III2)

"Hitch your wagon to a star." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

"I have not yet begun to fight!" (John Paul Jones)

"I have two ambitions in life one is to drink every pub dry, the other is to sleep with every woman on earth." (Oliver Reed, paraphrased)

"I hope that I may always desire more than I can accomplish." (Michelangelo Buonarroti, 1475-1564)

"I told each dancer that when it was easy, it had probably been done before, probably many times. I explained that only when it was so hard that it was nearly impossible were we perhaps close to getting something unique and extraordinary." (Howard Schatz)

Annoyance Quotes

"Looks like what drive me crazy have no effect on you. But, I'm going to keep at it. Till it drives you crazy too." (James Mercer Langston Hughes, 1902-67)

Authority Quotes

"A quotation in a speech, article or book is like a rifle in the hands of an infantryman. It speaks with authority." (Brendan Francis)

"Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords but, like all other pleasures immoderately enjoyed, the excesses of hope must be expiated by pain; and expectations improperly indulged must end in disappointment." (Samuel Johnson)

"I sit at my desk / Writing haiku to ThinkGeek / My boss does not see." (Anonymous, from a ThinkGeek.com customer)

"I was attracted to anarchism as a young teenager, as soon as I began to think about the world beyond a pretty narrow range, and haven't seen much reason to revise those early attitudes since. I think it only makes sense to seek out and identify structures of authority, hierarchy, and domination in every aspect of life, and to challenge them; unless a justification for them can be given, they are illegitimate, and should be dismantled, to increase the scope of human freedom. That includes political power, ownership and management, relations among men and women, parents and children, our control over the fate of future generations (the basic moral imperative behind the environmental movement, in my view), and much else." (Noam Chomsky)

"I've lived a number of lives. I'm inclined to envy the man who leads one life, with one job, and one wife, in one country, under one God. It may not be a very exciting existence, but at least by the time he's seventy-three he knows how old he is." (John Huston, American filmmaker)

"If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle)

"My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind." (Albert Einstein)

"No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche)

"One does not hate as long as one has a low esteem of someone, but only when one esteems him as an equal or a superior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil)

"Sadder than destitution, sadder than a beggar is the man who eats alone in public. Nothing more contradicts the laws of man or beast, for animals always do each other the honor of sharing or disputing each other's food." (Jean Baudrillard)

Authority Displaying 11 through 20 of 23 Quotes

"That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, while the man seems careless and indifferent." (Sophy Burnham)

"The goal of the human soul is conquest, perfection, security, superiority." (Alfred Adler)

"The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche)

"The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." (Samuel Butler)

"The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out." (Chinese Proverb)

"The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life." (Muhammad Ali)

"Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts." (Serge Gainsbourg)

"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth." (Albert Einstein)

"We have to hate our immediate predecessors to get free of their authority." (D.H. Lawrence)

"When you make your peace with authority, you become authority." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors)

Ambition Quotes

"If passion drives you, let reason hold the reigns." (Anonymous)

"If you fail to plan for competitive pressure, you risk falling into the gas-station-price-war mentality. When you do that, you may find yourself responding to other moves by competitors, rather than taking the initiative yourself. Essentially, you are letting the competition determine your marketing strategy." (David Gumpert, How to Really Create a Successful Marketing Plan)

"If you haven't turned rebel by twenty you've got no heart; if you haven't turned establishment by thirty you've got no brains!" (Kevin Spacey)

"It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols)

"It is never to late to be what you might have been." (George Eliot)

"It is the nature of ambition to make men liars and cheats, to hide the truth in their breasts, and show, like jugglers, another thing in their mouths, to cut all friendships and enmities to the measure of their own interest, and to make a good countenance without the help of good will." (Kenneth Tynan)

"Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great." (Mark Twain)

"Looks like what drive me crazy have no effect on you. But, I'm going to keep at it. Till it drives you crazy too." (James Mercer Langston Hughes, 1902-67)

"Make no little plans. They have no magic to stir Men's blood." (David Hudson Burnham)

"My dad always used to tell me that if they challenge you to an after-school fight, tell them you won't wait--you can kick their ass right now." (Cameron Diaz)




Authority Quotes

"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love and to put its trust in life!" (Joseph Conrad)

"Women are among the most gracious phenomenons ever to walk the earth. I only sympathize for the many men who consider to be more manly is to be as much not like a woman." (Stuart Nail)

"Your most effective marketing tool may be your own customer list, but you'd better make sure you have one. A lot of people think they can just use the list of companies they send bills to. Wrong. That's a billing list. If you want a marketing list, you have to generate one, and that means including the information a marketer needs, which is a lot different from the information a credit manager needs." (Ernan Roman, author of Integrated Direct Marketing Techniques and Strategies for Success)

Ambition Displaying 21 through 30 of 34 Quotes

"Naturam expellas furca, tamen usque recurret. [Though you drive Nature out with a pitchfork, she will still find her way back.]" (Horace, Epistles, I. x. 24)

"Oh, that. I just do that for the extra money, and to satisfy my male need to kill and win." (Charlie Sheen)

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot)

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." (Les Brown)

"The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous)

"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark." (Michelangelo Buonarroti, 1475-1564)

"The truth is an ambition which is beyond us." (Peter Ustinov)

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832)

"We are the music makers. We are the dreamers of the dreams." (Arthur O'Shaughnessy)

"What is too sublime for you, seek not, into things beyond your strength search not." (Bible, Sirach, 320)

Joseph Conrad Displaying 1 through 3 of 3 Quotes

"... I've seen the devil of violence, and the devil of greed, and the devil of hot desire; but, by all the stars! these were strong, lusty, red-eyed devils, that swayed and drove men -- men I tell you." (Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness)

"The conquest of the earth, which mostly means the taking it away from those who have a different complexion or slightly flatter noses than ourselves, is not a pretty thing when you look into it too much." (Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness)

"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love and to put its trust in life!" (Joseph Conrad)

Ambition Displaying 31 through 34 of 34 Quotes

"When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't." (Leo Burnett)

"Women who strive to be equal to men lack ambition." (Anonymous)

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." (Eleanor Roosevelt)

"You'll have time to rest when you're dead." (Robert De Niro)

New Quotations


July 14, 2003

"At the risk of disillusionment, I must admit I don't like top hats, white ties and tails." (Fred Astaire)

July 13, 2003

"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words)

July 2, 2003

"The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler)

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter, and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65)

"To be loved, you must be lovable." (Italian Proverb)

June 24, 2003

"To be nobody-but-yourself -- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else -- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. " (E.E. Cummings)

"A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever." (Helen Rowland)

June 17, 2003

"Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives." (Gary Busey)

June 16, 2003

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors)

"We live in a box of space and time. Movies are windows in its walls." (Roger Ebert)
June 15, 2003

"What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968))

June 11, 2003

"I think everybody likes to see the fat girl get the hot guy and win." (John Waters, on the stage version of Hairspray)

"The magic of sex is that it's acquisition without the burden of possessions. No matter how many women you take home, there's never a storage problem." (Chuck Palahniuk)

"Unbeing dead isn't being alive." (E.E. Cummings)

June 9, 2003

"Donald and I were jazz fans in high school. We were outcasts. We were the poor, sad kids who brought Sarah Vaughn records to their first junior high school party. That kind of stuff warps you for life." (Walter Becker, of Steely Dan, on he and co-member Donald Fagin's being disliked)

June 8, 2003

"The world belongs to meat eaters. If you have to take it raw, eat it raw." (Paul Newman, The Long Hot Summer)

"Color in a picture is like enthusiasm in life." (Vincent van Gogh)

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses. She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?!'" (Robin Williams)

June 5, 2003

"You must thank the gods for art, those of us who have been fortunate enough to stumble onto this means of venting our craziness, our meanness, our towering disgust." (R. Crumb, American cartoonist/painter)

"One of the rules of journalism - I don’t know exactly how it got established, but it’s held with absolute consistency - is that when you mention George [W.] Bush’s name in an article, the headline has to speak of his vision and the article has to talk about his dreams. Maybe there will be a photograph of him right next to it peering into the distance." (Noam Chomsky, Monthly Review, May 2003)
New Quotations


June 4, 2003

"God is behind everything, but everything hides God. Things are black, creatures are opaque. To love someone is to render her transparent." (Victor Hugo, Les Misérables)

June 3, 2003

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)

June 2, 2003

"God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist)

"Jack McKenzie's proposal Set up alternative university program freeing a student from all curriculum responsibilities. Let him elect his studies. When he leaves, give him, instead of degree, certificate telling what he did while in school." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972)

"We dream of the day when no one knows who's President, because no one bothered to vote." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972)

"Sometimes we blur the distinction between art and life; sometimes we try to clarify it. We don't stand on one leg. We stand on both." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972)

"We must be uncompromising to the end." (Erik Satie, French composer)

"Paper should be edible, nutritious. Inks used for printing or writing should have delicious flavors. Magazines or newspapers read at breakfast should be eaten for lunch. Instead of throwing one's mail in the waste-basket, it should be saved for the dinner guests." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972)

"We're in a confusion of books. Bonfire?" (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972)

"You can tell if you're in an attractive American spot it's littered with trash." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972)

June 2, 2003

"Now that we have everything we need, we discover that there is almost nothing that we have that we want." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972)

"A newspaperman wrote asking me to send'im my philosophy in a nutshell. Get out of whatever cage you happen to be in." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972)

June 1, 2003

"Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot." (Buster Keaton)

May 31, 2003

"The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon)

"Combine nursing homes with nursery schools. Bring very old and very young together they interest one another." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972)

"We learn nothing from the things we know." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972)

"College two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972)

"Questions I might have learned to ask him can no longer be answered." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972)

"Teacher played hooky. Sent message 'Receiving instruction. Enjoying myself thoroughly. See you next week.'" (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972)

May 24, 2003

"My God, My God ... (why hast Thou forsaken me?) ... That bestial giggling ...." (Soren Kierkegaard, his journal entry after his first - and only - sexual encounter)