LATAIF HI LATAIF

[meesum]

DIS MISS

aik principal larko ko samjha rahi thi k junhi mein “dis miss” kahun, tumaam larke class ko chale jaeen. Abhi principal ne dis hi kaha tha k tumaam larke bhaag kar class ko chale gaey, magar nadeem sabir kharra raha. “Tum kyun kharre ho” principal ne ghussey se poocha. Madam mein aap ki “miss” ka intazaar kar raha tha, nadeem sabir ne masumiyat se kaha.



sourceaurat aik shararat by khan akbar ali khan.

[meesum]

FARAAR

Aik sahib jannat ki deewaar phaand kar dozakh ki taraf bhaagte hueey pakre gaey. Faarishtoon ne poocha “log to jannt ki aarzoo karte hein tum ajeeb ehmaq ho k jannat se jahannum ki taraf bhaage ja rahe ho!” mafroor jannati bola“ abhi abhi khabr mili he k meri bivi ka intiqaal ho geya he aur log duaa kar rahe hein k khuda usse jannat naseeb kare”

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KAANTA

Begum sharafat ne kaha…………“kaho behan, tumhari no beyahta(newly married) beti ki zindagi kesi guzar rahi he?”
Begum sharafat ne jawab dia………..“zeyada buri nahi, us k shohar ka aik bangla he jis mein aaraam o aaraaish ki har cheez maujood he. Us k paas pehnane k liey behtareen malbusaat hein. Aane jaane k liey bilkul naee gaari(new car) he. Tafreeh k liey dunya jahan ki har cheez maujood he. Lekin us ki apne shohar se nahi banti”
“Haan behan sach kehti ho, phoolon k saath kaanta zuroor hota he.” Begum sharafat ne afsos karte huey kaha.



sourceaurat aik shararat by khan akbar ali khan.

[meesum]

Thagg


Aik larki ne raste mein apni saheli ko ishare se aik bari umar(age) k aadmi ki taraf tawajjuh dilate huey kaha.
“is shakhs se mujhe sakht nafrat he as ne mera aik karor ka nuqsaan kia he”
saheli ne poocha “wo kaise?”
larki ne jawab dia “as ne apne larke kashif sajjad ko mujh se shadi nahi karne di”

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Pehchaan


nar(male) aur madaah(female) makhi ki pehchaan k liey aik shaksh ne ajeeb tareeqa nikala. Aik roz as ne elaan kia k aaj mein ne che(six) makhian mareen, teen nar thein aur teen maadah!
Us ki bivi ne poocha “lekin aap ko nar aur maadah ka pata itni jaldi kaise chal gya?”
Us ne jawab dia. “bari asaani se teen makhian mithai par bethi thein aur teen aaeene par!”

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Saza


Mian bivi mein jhagra hua to bivi ne apni maa ko fone kia aur kaha mein aap k haan aa rahi huon. Maan ne kaha usse apne kiey ki saza milni chahiey tum waheen thehro mein tumhare taraf aa rahi hoon.

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Mashwarah


Darya par karte huey aik burhia ne apne shadi shuda bete se poocha. “kyun beta agar mein aur bahu darya mein dubne lagain to tu kis ko bachaie ga?” Larka pareshaan ho kar apni bivi ki taraf dekhane laga. Bivi ne forunn(immediately) mashwarah dia. “amma ko bacha lena!” burhia khush ho kar bahu se boli “tujhe kyun nahi?”
Bahu ne jawab dia “ mujhe nikalne k liey to aur bohat se kood parein gae!”

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kaffarah


aik mulla ki bivi dekhane mein aisi hi thi k sham ko maktab se aa kar mulla ne bivi k chehre ko anhimaak se dekhana shuroo kia. bivi ne wajah poochi to mulla bole. "aaj meine aik bohat khubsoorat aurat ko dekha meine lakh koshish ki k apni aankhon ko udher se hata doon. magar kamyabi nahi hue" lehaza mein kam az kam so dafa tumhare chehre ko dekhaon ga ta k us ka kaffara ada kar sakon."

[meesum]

Be-rozgari ka hal


“be-rozgari ka hal mere pass he” aik shakhs ne kehna shuroo kia
“tumaam mardon ko aik jazeere mein awr tumaam aurtoon ko doosre jazeere mein bhaij dain. Aap dekhain gai k tumaam mard aur aurtain kaam mein lag jaaein gai”
who kia kaam karein gai? Kisi ne poocha.
“who sab kashtian bana shuroo kar de gai” jawab mila.

[meesum]

Zid


Jail mein aik mujram ne doosre mujram se poocha.
Tumhein kis juram ki saza mili he?
“Hakoomat se meri zid chal rahi thi”
“kia matlab? Kia tum koi leader ho?” pehle qaidi ne hairat se poocha.
“nahi hakoomat ko ye baat pasand nahi thi k mein bhi us ki tarah karansi note chapoon”

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Sab kuch


Kia mechanic ne tumhein sab kuch samjha dia he?
Kaam khatm hone k baad foreman ne nai(new) helper se poocha. Jis ka pehla din tha.
Ji haan janab! Us ne mujhe achi tarah samjha dia he.
Bohat khoob. Foreman khush hua, kia kia bataya tha?
Janab us ne kaha tha k jab mein aap ko aata dekhoon to usse foran jaga doon.

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Kamyabi ka raaz


Kisi ne aik hadait kaar(director) se poocha k aap ki mashhoor fil “bad soorat” ki kamyabi ka raaz kia he?”
To unhon ne jawab dia, “number aik ye k as mein mulk ki mashhorr tareen heerwon ne bad soorat larki ka kirdaar ada kia. Number do ye k unhon ne ye kirdaar baghair make up k ada kia tha.”

[meesum]

Azadi


Aik shakhs wakeel se bare ghussey ki halat mein keh raha tha “tum talaq dilane k liey do lakh rupee fees maang rahe ho jab k shadi karne mein sirf aik lakh rupee kharch hote hein.”
Mere dost , wakeel ne samjhate huey kaha. “ azadi k liey hamaisha bari qurbani deni parti he.”