02-03-2005, 10:24 PM
I disagree here. It all depends upon ur patience and ability to endure. I am considering that you are replying to the post Originally Posted by BOB. Here i will feel its time to narrate my own Painful experience.
Painful experiences are a certitude in life my friend. But we all have an amazing capacity to bring good out of something bad. My wife had an affair about 3 years ago. Our marriage wasn't hanging by a thread...that thread was already snapped into two and I was holding on to the ends with all my strength. It was at that time that I had to decide what was important to me and what was not. Once I realized that my life with...my comittment to my wife and our family was the thing that mattered most in my life the reality of my situation became quite clear I had to do whatever it took on my part to make the marriage work. And that is exactly what I did. Thankfully I came across a very good book on infidelity by a guy named Harvey who runs MarriageBuilders.com. The guidance I got from that book was indispensable. But it didn't make things any easier. In fact, it made my life for the next year and a half pretty much the worst, most painful time in my life...but only because that's what it took to keep our marriage together.
I'm not going to go into the details since my situation doesn't apply to yours. The salient point is that once you truly decides what is important in your life everything becomes quite clear and simple. When you know what is important you have a clear goal defined and all the superfluous crap dissolves away. Once you have decided on what matters you naturally begin working towards making it a reality. That doesn't guarantee you will actually be able to attain your goal but it does instill in you a personal sense of responsibility and self-control like nothing else can.
Once I became determined that my marriage was the most important thing in my life all else fell by the wayside and eventually it won my wife over. The road was long and painful and most of the time so dark I didn't see that anything was changing. But I never gave up and it eventually effected my wife. When my actions proved that she was the most important thing in my life and that I would endure anything for our life together she eventually decided that our marriage was what was most important to her as well. Then we both began to work to create the same reality...we both knew what was important A wonderful marriage, a true friendship, a happy life. And we did whatever it took and we eventually created it.
Now we are best friends through and through. We know one another on levels we never knew existed. We are proud of one another for what we accomplished together. We decided to make something good out of a very bad situation and that is exactly what happened. In the end, that's really all that you have control over in this life...your attitude towards the world you live in and what you decide to do with the experiences you encounter. I learned that I could not control or change or fix my wife. Indeed, if my marriage to her was what mattered above all else, I realized I would have to accept her just as she was.
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If I could... Then I would... Turn back time!!
Painful experiences are a certitude in life my friend. But we all have an amazing capacity to bring good out of something bad. My wife had an affair about 3 years ago. Our marriage wasn't hanging by a thread...that thread was already snapped into two and I was holding on to the ends with all my strength. It was at that time that I had to decide what was important to me and what was not. Once I realized that my life with...my comittment to my wife and our family was the thing that mattered most in my life the reality of my situation became quite clear I had to do whatever it took on my part to make the marriage work. And that is exactly what I did. Thankfully I came across a very good book on infidelity by a guy named Harvey who runs MarriageBuilders.com. The guidance I got from that book was indispensable. But it didn't make things any easier. In fact, it made my life for the next year and a half pretty much the worst, most painful time in my life...but only because that's what it took to keep our marriage together.
I'm not going to go into the details since my situation doesn't apply to yours. The salient point is that once you truly decides what is important in your life everything becomes quite clear and simple. When you know what is important you have a clear goal defined and all the superfluous crap dissolves away. Once you have decided on what matters you naturally begin working towards making it a reality. That doesn't guarantee you will actually be able to attain your goal but it does instill in you a personal sense of responsibility and self-control like nothing else can.
Once I became determined that my marriage was the most important thing in my life all else fell by the wayside and eventually it won my wife over. The road was long and painful and most of the time so dark I didn't see that anything was changing. But I never gave up and it eventually effected my wife. When my actions proved that she was the most important thing in my life and that I would endure anything for our life together she eventually decided that our marriage was what was most important to her as well. Then we both began to work to create the same reality...we both knew what was important A wonderful marriage, a true friendship, a happy life. And we did whatever it took and we eventually created it.
Now we are best friends through and through. We know one another on levels we never knew existed. We are proud of one another for what we accomplished together. We decided to make something good out of a very bad situation and that is exactly what happened. In the end, that's really all that you have control over in this life...your attitude towards the world you live in and what you decide to do with the experiences you encounter. I learned that I could not control or change or fix my wife. Indeed, if my marriage to her was what mattered above all else, I realized I would have to accept her just as she was.
.
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If I could... Then I would... Turn back time!!
